Phantom Of The Twilight
by XxXflyingHIGHonPRUSSIAxXx
Summary: What happens if the Twilight charaters weren't in Twilight? What happens if they were in the Phantom of the Opera? Read to find out! Bellax?
1. Introduction of the Loony Bin

Flying: Hey guys :) this is my first story so I hope u like it

Edward: Why am I here and why am I the stalker?

Flying: Cuz u are! Haven't u noticed that every night you watch Bella sleep? Ur such a creeper! Alice! Take him out!

Alice (comes in and shoots him with a sleep dart)

Flying: Alice tank u so very much XD

Alice: (drags Edward to the mental hospital)

Jacob: (comes in eating RAW meat) Flying does not own Twilight, The Phantom of the Opera, Sweeney Todd, or any of references. All she owns is… NOTHING

Flying: Ur so mean Jakie! (crying in despair) I'll never own anything!

Jake: (drags Flying out if the room)

HOPE YOU ENJOY THE STORY :)

* * *

A long, long, time ago, back in 18-something-8, there was a girl who lived in the opera house on Fleet Street. She loved meat pies and would go to Mrs. Lovett's Meat Pies, where Mrs. Lovett and Sweeney Todd lived, but that is a story for another day. Her name was Bella and she was a ballet dancer, but she tripped and fell all the time. She would have been out of the job forever ago if the opera house hadn't been short on money and crew. She was very pale with brown hair and eyes. She was very plain and boring, it is a wonder that so many boys fell in love with her.

It all started some day in May when they where practicing some opera with elephants and kings. Of course, Rosalie, who always wanted that spotlight, was in the lead. She was playing the queen who was crazy and bloodthirsty, but very stupid. Her husband, Emmett, played the king. Trying to get Emmett on the elephant was a tall, lanky, young man, named Jasper. He had been in the business for only a few months, but he was a fast learner. Then Bella, whose feet were trapped in chains that were attached to the other ballerinas, tripped and fell bringing the other ballerinas with her. The falling ballerinas fell on all of the other people on stage. Tragically, one of them crashed into Jasper, who dropped Emmett, who then fell on Jasper. With mysterious music, played by the orchestra, one of the backgrounds held up from the ceiling, fell on Rosalie.

Being Rosalie, she threw a hissy fit, yelling, screaming, and scratching. The PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, nicknamed Edward by the cast and crew had caused the background to fall. It seemed things could not get any worse, but one of the crewmembers said, "Thing can't get any worse."

He had set the taboo. The owner of the place, Carlisle, came in with two other men. Carlisle, exclaimed, "Good news everyone! I have money in my pockets! Filled to the top! Especially my butt ones!"

Everyone became excited and started cheering until, "But it's only for Madame Esme and me, myself, and I."

All the cast and crew became silent except for Madame Esme, who was the teacher of the ballet dancers, who yelled, "Thanks honey, I've always wanted to blow this joint! We're not taking Alice with us, are we? 'Cause I want us to spend some quality time together without that brat."

Alice, their daughter, ballerina, and best friend of Bella, said, "Mother! How could you call me a brat? I've been so good to you guys. I want to leave too. I can't stand how _somebody_ messes me up…"

Bella, who was currently oblivious to the conversation taking place, was staring at the ceiling picking her nose. She picked out a booger and sniffed it. When she thought that everyone was not looking, she ate it. What she did not notice was that everyone was watching.

"No offense Bella. Scratch that, take lots of offense to it. You're a creeper. Take me with you, oh please, OH PLEASE, _OH PLEASE!_"

"Never," Carlisle replied. "Anyways, the other good news, which is, I've sold the opera house to get the money for my vacation."

"WHAT?" all the cast and crew exclaimed.

"And I have sold it to these, two, fine gentlemen. Also we have a new patron, which means money! The two gentlemen are Monsieur Quil and Monsieur Embry, with their new patron Henry Jacob Black."

"But you can just call me Jake," a handsome, young man said. Every female swooned at the sight of him except for Bella, Alice, Rosalie, and Madame Esme.

"Well, Madame Esme come with me. See ya! Wouldn't want to be ya!" Carlisle called while he and Madame Esme ran for it, leaving Monsieur Quil and Monsieur Embry to deal with Rosalie. Her anger had been bubbling up because she was still stuck under the background. Nobody had been paying any attention to her.

After somebody helped her get up she screamed, "That's it! I'm leaving! I'll see you guys later, NOT!" She left the stage with Emmett trailing close behind.

"What do we do?" Embry asked Quil.

"Grovel," Quil replied.

They ran after her begging for her to come back, but she did not. When they were gone, everyone stood in groups gossiping about Rosalie for the millionth time.

"Well…since everyone is busy doing something, I'm leaving to do my hair for tonight," Jake said before running home.

"OMG! Alice that was my childhood crush," Bella yelled in Alice's ear. While Alice was rubbing her ear Bella continued, "We would always play together in the sandbox and we went fishing with our dads. He was my BFF. Let's chase after him."

Alice replied, "All right, since I don't have anything else to do."

"Hey, Jake! Don't you remember me? It's Bella! Do you remember my father, the famous violinist Charlie Swan?" Bella yelled, chasing after Jake.

"Who are you? I've never seen you before in my life. Go away you freak," Jake said before running even faster.

"NO! He hates me!"

"Let's take you home," Alice told Bella after seeing the whole scene.

They went back home to find Quil and Embry depressed. They were facing a corner, sitting with their knees pulled up to their chests.

"Where's the understudy?" Quil asked the orchestra conductor.

"There is no understudy", the orchestra conductor nicknamed Bob, for he had no name, replied.

"I can take Rosalie's place and sing," Bella told Quil and Embry proudly.

All the cast and crew groaned.

"No, not again!" Alice said.

Since Bella was oblivious to insults on her singing, she began to sing in a raspy, horrible voice, "_Think of me_…"

"Alright you'll do," Quil and Embry said in unison.

* * *

Flying: oooooooh I wonder what will happen next!

Edward: You KNOW what will happen next. You WROTE it!

Flying: Gah! When did they let you out of the mental hospital?

Edward: They didn't! (laughs evilly) I shall now kill you!

Flying: Hurry guys! You need to review otherwise Edweird (Haha Edweird) shall kill me! REVIEW!

Edward: (Drags Flying to his not-so-secret dungeon of DOOM!

REVIEW PLEASE!


	2. Appearance of THE POTOand others:P

Flying: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Nobody reviewed! I'm unloved! (Is in a chair tied up)

Edweird: I used my magical powers from Fluffy Frill Land to make sure they didn't review! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Now I can kill you! And force you to change my name to Edward which it is!

Bella: (Comes in) Ohhhhh Edweird! _There's only one thing, To do, Three words fo you, I love you, There's only one way, To say, Those three words, That's what I'll do, I love you!_

Edweird: GAHHHH! (Withering on the floor) Help me God! Wait i'm an athiest! Help me somebody!

Flying: Save me! She is horrible!

Bella: (Tilts her head) What'd I do?

Jasper: (Comes flying through the window, breaking it in the process) I have come to save you Flying! Also to do the disclaimer!

Bella, Edweird, and Flying: You could've used the door you know.

Jasper: Ohhhhhhhhh wellllllllllllllllllllllllll, ummmmm, never mind. Flying doesn't own I, 2, 3, 4-Plain White T's, Twilight, I Gotta Feeling-Black Eyed Peas, The Phantom of the Twilight, or anything else. (Leaves)

Flying: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I own the idea of don't I? And wait! I thought you were here to save me?

Bella and Edweird: Hmmmm what can we do to her? (laugh evilly)

Flying: Ummmmmmmmmmm AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! On to the story! Hurry up story!

HOPE YOU ENJOY XD

* * *

Magically, it was time for Bella's big solo and Bella was in a big, poofy white dress. "Whoa! How'd I get here?" Bella thought.

She began singing from where she had left off hours ago. The polite audience did not cover their ears. But they really, really wanted to do just that.

"Hey…it's that girl from earlier," Jake thought in his head. "I wonder if I can sell her on . Her voice is so horrible, it's perfect for revenge."

With his master plan all thought out, he stood up and randomly clapped while Bella was singing. Then he rushed out of the balcony where he was watching the opera. "I'll pretend that I remember her from long ago. I have no idea what she was talking about though. Dang it! I always think in rhyme when I'm being evil."

Bella finally finished, so everyone stood up clapping because it was over. They all had the same thought in their heads, "Finally, she's done!"

Then, Bella was whisked off to a creepy room with a lot of candles. "Oooh! I love fire! I'll light the candles and leave this room. I wonder if they will burn down this place if I don't watch them?"

"_Brava, Brava_–." Then there was a lot of coughing from some voice in the room.

"OMG! Who's there? If you're a stalker, I know Kung Fu. But, if you're not, I'm lying," Bella yelled.

"Ummmm…I'm not a stalker. I'm the PHANTOM OF THE OPERA," the POTO replied while thinking, "Oh, no! How'd she find out that I've been stalking her?"

"Ohhhh. Can I call you Edward?"

"No. My real name is Buzzy the hobo," the POTO replied angrily.

"Okay, Edward. Where are you? Why can't I see you?"

"I live in your heart."

"Really! I never knew that. So are you, like, my angel of music?" the stupid brunette replied.

"Ummm…sure. Let's go with that."

In another room, Alice was making out with Jasper. "_I gotta feeling woo hoo_," she sang. "_That tonight's gonna be a horrible night_." In a normal voice she told Jasper, "I have to go, okay? I've gotta feeling that Bella has met her stalker, so I have to go save her. Anyways…meet me here tonight at midnight."

"'Kay," Jasper replied. "Miss you already."

So Alice ran off calling out to Bella. But, Bella was still talking to the POTO. They were discussing what nail polish color went better with her hair. The POTO suggested electric blue, but then his voice disappeared as Alice ran into the room.

"Hey, Bella. Wanna go sing about how your father died and your angel/stalker of music?" she asked Bella.

"Sure! Let's go!" Bella replied.

Alice eventually led Bella back to her own room, which she got from being in the lead. It was stuffed with flowers and candy baskets. "OMG, Alice! Look at what my fans gave me! They must love me a lot!" Bella yelled before eating all the candy she could get a hold of. If she had actually read the cards stuck to the gifts, she would have seen that the people were trying to bribe her to get out of the opera because her voice was so horrible. Because Bella was stuffing her face with candy, Alice skipped out of the room. She did not want to deal with Bella on a sugar high. She could barely stand Bella when she was normal.

Jake poked his head into Bella's room. Bella screamed, "Jake!" before she jumped on him and gave him a big hug.

"Ummm…" he paused. He had forgotten her name. What was it again? "Sweetheart can you get off of me? I can't breathe."

"Okay, Jakey-poo."

"I am very sorry for my misunderstanding this morning. Of course I remember you. I just didn't see your face quite clearly. Also, since it was the morning, I was not fully awake yet."

"Yay Jake! I knew you remembered me!" the sugar happy teen practically yelled in his ear.

"Let's go to a party. There will be drinks, pizza, and all the sweets you want."

"'Kay Jake. Just let me get ready." Bella told him before she shooed him out of her room.

"Hmmmm…what dress should I wear? How 'bout that dress that has that slit up to my thigh. I should wear that, even though in this century it is improper to show even your ankles."

"_I am your angel of music_._ Come to your angel of–_" the POTO was attacked by another coughing fit. When he was done coughing, he told Bella, "How 'bout you drop that loser and come with me, a _real_ man."

"Mmmm Edward. You have a sexy singing voice. Of course I'll come."

Bella's mirror opened up to show a secret cave behind it. The POTO was there holding out his hand for Bella to grab. "OMG! This is so cool! It's like an _Indiana Jones_ movie! In the last movie his son is so hot!" our favorite brunette exclaimed.

"Uhhhh…sure. Anyways let's sing 'cause I'm bored," the POTO said.

"_In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came. That voice that calls to me and speaks my name. And do I dream again? For now I find the PHANTOM OF THE OPERA is there inside my mind_," Bella screeched out.

As they got on a gondola, the POTO said in an Italian accent, "Don't sing anymore you must rest your voice." He was actually thinking, "God, she's horrible."

So, they finally reached the POTO's hangout. It was really creepy and filled with candles. When Bella saw all the candles she screamed, "This is a total fire hazard. Let this place burn down to a crisp." Then she began to laugh very evilly. "Sorry 'bout that Edward. The pyro in me was trying to take over."

"Ok…well it was…nice. Let me sing now 'cause I have a smexy singing voice."

"No, no. Your voice is sexy. It is not sexy enough to be smexy yet, but maybe with this song you can change my mind."

"Alright. _Nighttime sharpens heightens each sensation. Darkness stirs and wakes imagination._ _Silently the senses abandon their defenses. Slowly, gently, night unfurls it splendor. Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender. Turn your face away, from the garish light of day. Turn your thought away from cold, unfeeling light. And listen to the music of the night_."

"OMG! Your voice is now totally smexy to me. You sound just like Gerald Butler. Anyways let me take off that mask you are wearing. Why do you wear it anyways?"

"NO! Don't take it off! If you see my face you will faint because it is too smexy to handle. _I'm too smexy for my mask, too smexy for my mask_."

"I'll take your word for it 'cause you look very sexy with your mask on, so you must be very smexy with it off," the less-than-bright brunette replied.

"Anyways let's see this mannequin I made for you." He guided her to a curtain and lifted it up. "Here it is. You're so beautiful that I had to make a replica of you."

Bella screamed, fainted, and twitched on the floor. What he had made was so ugly, she could not even describe it. Did she really look like that? She had to ask Mr. Owl. So, in her dream she asked him and he told her, "A one, a two, and a three…" he chomped on his tootsie pop. Then a mysterious voice said, "The world may never know."

* * *

Flying: What a twist to the plot! (Still tied up)

Edweird: There was so twist (sweatdrop)

Flying: To me there was!1

Edweird: So shall I use the blowtorch, pliers, or Care Bears first. Hmmmmm. Such a hard choice.

Flying: You don't have to choose, you can just leave them there (sweating and breathing hard)

Edweird:I'll use the care Bears then...

Flying: Edwei- Wait no! Edward... See I change it... i'm a good girl! Well I did steal that last cookie... but other than that I'm good!

Edwei-Edward: You're on Santa's naught list and he had checked it twice...

Flying: But it's July!

Edward: It's Christmas in July... MWAHAHAHAHA!

Flying: REVIEW TO SAVE ME! SAVE ME!

REVIEW

Edward: Don't!

Flying: DO!


	3. Bella Is Stupid and STALKING PARTY!

Flying: (Still tied up) YAYZ I'M SAVED (cries trears of joy)

Edweird: Oh shizz! Now I can't kill you! (cries)

Jake: (comes in) Bella won't let me sell her! (cries)

Bella: (comes in) I have such a horribe voice! (cries)

Flying: (stops crying) Wait! Why are we all crying? It doesn't make sense! The script I made says _Be Happy_ not cry!

Edweird: Ok! I'm happy! I love you, you love me! We're a happy family!

Flying: ! BARNEY! MUST KILL! (shoots Edweird)

Edweird: (dies, like for realz) I died!

Flying: Wait how can u talk! Ur dead!

Bella: Edweird! Wait, no Edward! Don't die!

Jake: HELL YEAH! He's dead!

Edweird: (comes back to life) I'm BACK! Woo-hoo!

Flying: OH SHIZZLE! Wait! The script says _Turn Into A Ninja, Get Out Of Ropes, And Kick Edward's Ass. _Who's Edward! I know Edweird, but not Edward.

Edweird: It's means ME you fucking idiot!

Flying: Oh ok ^_^ (turns into a ninja, gets out of ropes, and kicks Edweird's ass)

Edwierd: I hate you.

Flying; I lov-no HATE you ^_^ now say thw disclaimer bitch!

Jake: Why am I here?

Bella: Why am I here?

Edweird: Flying doesn't own anything cuz she's a fucking fool! (gets kicked in the head) SHIZZ!

ON TO MY FUCKING STORY (cries)

* * *

She woke up the next morning to find that the POTO was nowhere to be found. Also, she found that her clothes were mysteriously missing. "Huh? Where'd my clothes go? Oh well, I'll just use this blanket."

A couple thousand floors up, Rosalie was in the main hallway throwing another hissy fit. "Who wrote this? I should be in the lead! Me. Me! ME! _ME!_"

Quil and Embry also came to the main hallway. They also had a letter signed _The POTO_. But, they were stupid enough to ask who wrote this. Jake showed up a few minutes later with a letter. They gathered together and their letters almost said the same thing.

_Dear Jake/Rosalie/Monsieur Quil and Monsieur Embry,_

_I would like to inform you that in the upcoming play I would like Miss Bella to be in the lead instead of that dumb blond, Rosalie. She is a horrible singer compared to the voice of Bella. Yes, I am lying. I just want this opera house to go in ruin, and yes, Bella's voice is horrible. If you do complete my requests and give me a billion dollars, I will take Bella far away from here._

_Sincerely,_

_The POTO_

Jasper then came in to see what all the fuss was about. He gave his opinion on the matter. "You should try to bargain with him. He'll probably agree to whatever you say as long as he gets to keep Bella."

"NO! He shall not keep Bella. I need her so I can make millions by selling her on ! I will not let her go! Her role shall be the silent boy that never talks. We do not want to hear her horrible voice. Rosalie, you shall be in the lead like always," the surprisingly smart Jake said.

"The problem is that I don't wanna sing anymore since Bella got the lead last night. I shall not sing anymore," Rosalie stated. Then she went to the door and opened it. There were thousands of men with flowers for her. They had banners saying, "Please come back." But, Rosalie thought that they were for Bella. She screamed so loud that the people in China were frightened by the sound.

"_The public needs you_," Quil sang to Rosalie.

"_We need you_," Embry also sang.

"_Wouldn't you rather have your precious Bella?_" Rosalie sang back.

"No," said Quil and Embry in unison.

"Okay then. PRIMA DONNA has returned to the stage!" Rosalie shouted.

All the cast and crew shouted, "YEAH!" and drank every single bottle of alcohol in the place.

* * *

Everybody was transported to the night of the next opera. This opera was a comedy with bright colors and big, poofy dresses. They were in costumes from the 1700s with tons of make-up on their face. While the opera was going on, Emmett, who was a big flirt, was hitting on Bella. He slapped her on her butt and Rosalie got mad. She never showed it because they were on stage. She was that professional actress and opera singer. With another round of mysterious music from the orchestra, a stagehand, that was the best friend of Emmett, fell from the top of the stage with a noose around his neck. All the women screamed and fainted while the men caught them.

Bella saw a flash of black and knew that it was her Edward that did it. She never paid attention to the note attached to the stagehand that clearly said that he committed suicide. Jake stood up and yelled, "The PHANTOM OF THE OPERA did this! We must find him and question him!"

That threw everybody into frenzy. Then the POTO's voice said, "There's a suicide note on him. It wasn't me. But, you didn't follow my instructions though, so you shall face punishment."

From the ceiling it rained thousands of Care Bears saying, "I love you. Let's be friends. We can live in the world of friendship and happiness." Everybody screamed. The care bears were too innocent and happy.

Jake jumped down to the stage from his balcony and ripped the suicide note of the stagehand. "Do you see any suicide note? He's lying! He murdered this man, so we should kill him! Anyways this is supposed to be an emo world! The Care Bears disrupt the emo-ness! Kill the Care Bears!" he said.

Everybody that did not faint or run away started pulling the stuffing from the care bears. They were laughing evilly and chanting, "We emos rule. We emos rule." While this was happening Jake grabbed Bella's hand and rushed her to the rooftop. He screamed, "Bells! He's trying to kill me! Save me!"

As they were running Bella said, "Bells? You remember my nickname from childhood! I love you Jake!"

When they got to the rooftop, they were wheezing. "Where's _–wheeze-_ my_ –wheeze-_ inhaler? I think _–wheeze-_ I'm going to _–wheeze-_ die," Jake told Bella.

When they finally got their breath back Bella said, "I wanna sing a song 'bout love and how much I wanna marry you Jake."

"How 'bout I just sing myself? You should rest your beautiful voice."

"That's funny. Edward said the exact same thing. My voice must really be good."

"Yeah, it is," he said "No way. I can see that I'm making her fall in love with me. Mwhahahahaha!" So, he started singing, "_No more talk of darkness, forget these wide eyed fears. I'm here nothing can harm you. My words will warm and calm you. Let me be your freedom, let daylight dry your tears. I'm here with you beside you, to guard you and to guide you. Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime. Let me lead you from your solitude. Say you'll need me with you here beside you. Anywhere you go let me go too, Bella that's all I ask of you._"

"Silly Jake, of course I love you. And wherever I go I want you to be there beside me." Then Bella kissed Jake.

What they did not know was that the POTO was watching the whole thing. "_I gave you all my music, made your song take wing. And now, how you repaid me, denied me and betrayed me. You will curse the day you did not do, all that the phantom asked of you_," he sang before running off weeping.

* * *

Once again, the happy couple was transported magically. This time it was New Year's Eve. At the opera house, Quil and Embry were throwing a party. Everyone was in costumes and masks. The cast and crew had to sing to entertain the guests. Good thing they were getting paid big bucks for this. "_Masquerade! Paper faces on parade! Masquerade! Hide your face so the world will never find you! Masquerade! Different faces different shades! Masquerade! Look around there's another mask behind you!_" they sang.

The people, who did not have to sing and were part of the cast and crew, were drinking to their hearts content in behind the stage. They were slipping in drinks from the party. Everyone was going to have a major hangover the next morning. At the party everyone was dancing to the music including Bella and Jake. "Why can't we tell anyone that we're engaged, Jake?" asked Bella.

"Because it's our little secret," he replied, not bothering to mention he did not want anyone to know that he was engaged to that horrible girl.

The POTO dropped down from the ceiling and yelled, "Mwahahahahaha! You people thought I was gone for good but I'm not! I am back and more powerful than before!"

A random cast member said in a surfer accent, "No way, dude. We, like, knew you were still here, like, the whole time. We saw you in the halls and like saw you dude."

"Ohhhh…well I'm here. And Monsieur Quil and Monsieur Embry, here is the opera that I wrote and I want you to perform it in 'bout a week." He handed the paper to Quil and disappeared through the floor.

"We might as well do what he says. It's not like we have anything better to do," Quil said as he shrugged.

* * *

So, the cast and crew started to work on the opera while Bella was whisked off to the graveyard. She had told herself that she snuck out, but she actually walked through the front door singing James Bond music. She was on a mission, a mission to see her deceased father, Charlie Swan.

Jake did not have anything better to do, so he stalked her and the POTO stalked Jake. Then a squirrel started stalking the POTO, so he tried to shoo it away, but it did not listen. It was a stalker party. Bella was totally oblivious to everything like always and Jake just never turned around, so he never saw the POTO. "Weirdos," the people who saw them thought.

When Bella reached the graveyard she started singing, "_Wishing you were somehow here again…blah blah blah_."

She was walking in circles because she had no idea where her father's grave was. Then she realized something and shouted, "His grave's not here! It's somewhere in Ireland."

There was a loud smacking noise from the POTO and Jake hitting their foreheads in their palms. Bella was so brainless. Jake and the POTO realized that they were standing right next to each other, so they got into a swordfight. The POTO beat Jake up badly and poor Bella was oblivious to it all.

* * *

Flying: GAH! BELLA YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT!

Bella: Sorry it's not my fault that I have mental problems!

Flying: You're right! It's the cheese's fault.

Bella: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! CHEESE! PLEASE NO MORE!

Flying: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Squirrel: _squeak_

Flying: Wait I speak squirrel!

Squirrel; _squeak squeaker squeak squeak _(Flying- Guess what movie that's from ^_^)

Flying; It said "Bells's a fucking idiot so we should kill her" I like that idea!

Bella: (looks at squirrel, then at Flying) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (runs away)

Squirrel: (stalks her)

Flying: If you want me to catch Bella, REVIEW! ^_^


	4. The Final Opera and THE END

Flying: Hey guys :) I changed my name as you can see, now im still flying high, but on Prussia! Hetalia Axis Powers is the shizz

Edward: Shut the *beep* up! Wait what th *beep* why am I *beeping* being beeped out!

Fllying: But I had to, this is a childrens story...

Prussia (Gilbert!): (comes in) Leave the cussing in this story, it's good for children to learn, anyways this is an AWESOME story, not as AWESOME as me, but it's getting there

Flying: Thanks Gil ^_^ now can you do me a favor? Attack Edweird with the Gilbird army!

Prussia: Right on it! (out of nowhere a huge army of little yellow Gilbirds come out of nowhere and attack Edweird)

Edweird: GAH! HELP HELP HELP! Bella help me!

Bella: (comes in) Umm, i dun wanna at the moment... maybe later ok?

Edweird: WTF! You're supposed to love me? (still being attacked)

Flying and Prussia: HAHAHAHAHA! He can't even defend himself from LITTLE/AWESOME birds! HAHAHAHAHA

Flying: (reciting from a napkin with a lot of writing on it) And now folks, I have to say... this is the last chapter, BYE! I 3 the people who have read it, thank you thank you, you have actually read Twilight, or have seen the movies, and even though it was horribly stupid you came on the Twilight page on FanFiction to read this I lov-MMMHHHHHHHHHH (Prussia puts his hand over her mouth)

Prussia: WHat Flying is trying to say is that she loves you and thanks you blah blah blah

Flying: Here it is folks (drumroll)

Prussia: DISCLAIMER: XxXflyingHIGHonPRUSSIAxXx kesesese~ Prussia! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *ahem* does not own Twilight, Care Bears, Hetalia, Me cuz I own my AWESOME self, and everything else, hell she doesn't even own her own name, I do HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

STORY TIME!

* * *

The magically transportation machine transported them to the night of the opera. Jake had ordered the National Guard, the FBI, and the CIA from the U.S. to come there that night because Americans are awesome. It was time for Bella's duet with Emmett, but Emmet mysteriously disappeared. The POTO showed up to take his place.

"_This is the point, this is the point of NO RETURN_," the POTO sang. Then Bella unexpectedly took of his mask. Almost all the women, and some men, fainted from the smexiness of the POTO's face.

"Edward! You were right of the smexiness of your face. You're so hot!" Bella screamed excitedly.

"NO! I vowed never to show my face! Now you brat must come with me…TO FACE YOUR DOOM! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

A hole in the floor opened up and the POTO dragged Bella into it. The hole in the floor closed up. During this time, the Americans were dunking donuts in their coffee. One FBI agent said, "Nothin' beats Dunkin' Donuts."

Jake was hyperventilating at the time. When Bella disappeared, his money he could make off of her disappeared too. He needed that money! Money was his one and only true love. He found a lever attached to a wall that said DO NOT TOUCH. "It is inviting me to pull it," he thought. He pulled it and the chandelier fell from the ceiling. "Whoopsies!" he yelled in his head. He backed away from the lever so nobody would know that he did it. While backing away, he found another lever that said PULL IN AN EMERGENCY, so he pulled that also. The water sprinklers started sprinkling water everywhere. There was a bunch of screams including one from a man, "MY HAIR! IT TOOK ME HOURS TO GET MY PERFECT GLOSSY SHINE LIKE FERGIE!" Jake found another lever saying PULL ME. He did and a hole appeared under his feet making him fall down a couple thousand floors to land in the POTO's hideout. He did not receive any injuries except a broken nail, which was bad enough to have him crying like a baby.

Bella and the POTO rushed into the room when they heard the wailing. Bella realized what happened and went over to kiss his "booboo". Jake told her, "Who do you choose, me or him, 'cause it better be me 'cause I wanna make money offa ya."

"Exactly what he said. You need to choose. If you choose me, I'll love you forever and hug you and kiss you," the POTO also told her.

Alice, who had been lost in the place for months, came in. She was eating a chicken wing. "Alice! I haven't seen you in months! Where were you?' Bella yelled before giving her a big hug.

"I was lost here 'cause I accidently followed you. I haven't been in the past few scenes because of this. The author has been very kind to me. She gave me all the chicken wings in the world. Also all the Hawaiian Punch," Alice told her slowly so Bella would understand.

"Kool-Aid's better. Anyways I haven't seen Jasper either, and who is this _author _that you speak of?"

"She's a cool person and if you don't know, you're not cool. And Jasper was just behind me. The author stole him too for me."

Jasper came in with a big, huge chocolate chip cookie. "Hey lookie here, Alice. Look what I found," he said.

"Yay! A COOKIE!" Alice said before they ran off together.

The POTO and Jake saw the whole thing and bugged Bella to answer their previous question about who she would choose. "Ummm… let's see how Rosalie is doing first," she told them.

Up a couple thousand floors, Rosalie was holding Emmett in her arms and was crying. "Emmett! Emmett! Where art thou Emmett! Why did you have to die?"

What she did not know was that Emmett was alive. He told her, "Calm down. I'm alive. Can't you see that I'm alive?"

"OHHHH EMMETT! Why! Oh why! I can still hear your voice calling to me! That wretched PHANTOM OF THE OPERA must have murdered you! Why'd he have to kill you?"

"You woman! I'm alive you idiot!"

The cast and crew were watching the scene like you would watch a monkey dancing on a tiger. They had big bowls of popcorn and were shoveling it in, as the scene got more intense and hilarious.

Back in the POTO's hideout, Jake and the POTO were grasping each other laughing their heads off. "That was so hilarious!" they said in unison.

"So now the moment you have been waiting for is about to come. Time for me to tell you who I will choose," Bella told them.

They were whisked of to a game show that was called CHOOSE THAT HUMAN. The contestant was Bella. She had to choose between Jake, the POTO, and some ugly guy with a gold tooth. His name was Fagin or something. The host of the show was Jim Carry. He was chosen because of his sense of humor. "Everyone! Put you hands up and get ready to see who she will choose. Will it be pretty boy Jake? The mysterious POTO? Or will it be that random ugly guy we found off of the streets?" Jim announced.

Jake knew he was going to be picked because of his good looks. He was so confident that he already had their wedding planned out to the type of napkins to choose. It was not going to be big because he did not want to spend all of his money on Bella. Their honeymoon was going to be the best day of his life. That was going to be the day he was going to sell Bella on and get all the money he worked hard for.

The POTO was also confident. He knew the exact place in the sewer they were going to live. He planned all the names of their children. First born was Lindsay, it did not matter if it was a boy or a girl. The second was Noob, that child had to be a girl. The last child was going to be a boy named, Humperdink Poop Jerry Buzzy the 7th.

The Fagin man was so boring, nobody cared about what he thought or if he was confident. So, it finally came to the time where Bella had to choose. "Eenie, meenie, miney, moe. Catch a tiger by its toe. I choose you…" she said before the show cut to commercial break like most shows on T.V. Those are the kind of shows people hate.

When some commercial about toothpaste was over, the show came back on. "I choose you…Fagin," she said.

Everyone in the audience gasped. Why would she pick the old, strange looking man? Was she out of her mind? Jake had fainted at her decision and the POTO was drowning himself in his tears. Bella then explained her action. "Sorry, Jake and sorry, Edward. I have been love with Fagin Schwarzenegger for along time. Even before I had met you Jake, I have loved him. His accent is so cool, and did you know that his brother, Arnold, is the governor of Cali? That must be the reason why it's going in ruin. I'm going to be super rich and powerful. One step closer to bombing this world!"

She grabbed Fagin's hand and they ran off into the perfect sunset, before they crashed into it. "Owwie! That hurt! What's up with the sunset mister director?" Bella asked Tim Burton.

Tim explained, "That's the fake sunset that I had the crew build. Sorry, I forgot to tell you that it was a fake. We were going to use it in _Alice in Wonderland_ before I realized that it was a waste of money. So, now we use it for this show."

Then Johnny Depp appeared with Helena Bonham Carter. "C'mon Tim. We got to go record my wonderful singing with an old-time razor in my hand," Johnny told Tim.

"Yeah Tim. I got to go make those disgusting meat pies made outta human flesh," Helena also told Tim.

Our favorite, stupid brunette told the duo, "OMG! You guys look just like Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett! They are, like, my BFFs!"

"That's 'cause they're playing them in the movie," Tim told her before Johnny and Helena dragged him away.

So, Fagin and Bella ran off into the real sunset, which was not as beautiful as the fake one. Actually, you could barely see this sunset because it was raining. They were soaked to the bone and had colds for the rest of their lives. They also had two children. One named Oliver Twist and the other named the Artful Dodger.

The lesson that everyone had learned from this story was never to double knot your shoes together, for if you do, your fairy godmother will come and sprinkle fairy dust into you eyes and hair. You will be crying and have sparkly hair for the rest of you life.

* * *

Flying: That's the end folks, thanks for joing me on this crazy ride, sorry I didn't finish it forever ago, but I did now, everyone would like to take their bows...

Alice: (munching on a cookie) MHH MHH-love-MHH BLL LALALALA-bye-JAJAJAJAJA

Jasper: I love youz!

Flying: AWWW I 3 you 2 Jazzy

Fagin: (running away with my wallet)

Flying: HEY! GIVE THAT BACK!

Jacob: Bye my fangirls, yeah I know I'm hot (take off his shirt)

Edweird: (crying) bye Bella, bye world I'm killing myself

Flying: Finally!

Bella: See y'all (everyone throws tomatoes and a pissed off cat at her) OW!

Prussia and Flying: SEE YOU LOVE YOU

Prussia: I'M AWESOME!

Flying: BTW I think I'm gonna write a Hetalia fic next, I have tons of idea! send me a suggestion for a story, if you are kind enough to do so, and I'm typing this all will a broken wrist, Yep!

Prussia and Flying: THANKS AND REVIEW ^_^


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